Comments on: When a Stone Wall Isn’t Just a Stone Wall

By: Twitted by EveryDayLovBlog

Twitted by EveryDayLovBlog — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 13:06:12 +0000

[...] This post was Twitted by EveryDayLovBlog [...]

By: admin-edl

admin-edl — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:58:46 +0000

Hi dear Romie,

Well, it certainly sounds like our family really loves walls! Your wall is absolutely no dead wall — it is teeming with life. Unexpected life. I think that unexpected life is there everywhere, just waiting for us to find it. And once you start looking, it isn’t hard at all.
Love,
David

By: Romie Sanford

Romie Sanford — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:14:53 +0000

Hey dear David,

I used to teach a program for grade school kids on “stonewalls”. After they would stand there and say, “So, what about a stonewall?” I would ask them to look closer. Not just stones, but moss and lichens, snake skins, spider webs, spiders, ants, chipmunks, birds looking for bugs, climbing vines, etc. We’d always go over our time limit! Your stonewall picture could be a metaphor for a marriage relationship-each stone added representing home, a life built together, kids, plans for now and the future, shared experiences, shared hopes and dreams. Sometimes a stone comes loose and needs to be put back in a more solid way or the loose stone is caught in time before it falls to the ground. Some folks might need help with the repairs and some are confident enough to go it alone after reading up on “how to fix it”. That’s where Dr. David Sanford comes in!!

Love you lots,
Romie

By: admin-edl

admin-edl — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:01:30 +0000

Right on, Philip. Your comment about using a photograph to focus on shared experiences and good times is very close to a tip I give in the book that a good way to return to feeling love for your partner after a big argument is to look at a picture of that person, to which you have good associations and, as you look at the picture, to send your partner loving thoughts. Love, David

By: admin-edl

admin-edl — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:55:02 +0000

Thank you, so much, Dear Daughter. I loved what you said about curiosity. Curiosity to me is really about openness. Part of the meaning of “I am curious about you” is “I am really open to you — share yourself with me. That is so much the way I feel about you, Megan. Love, David

By: Philip Sanford

Philip Sanford — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:10:18 +0000

Hi David,

We enjoyed your latest blog and I think the suggestion of looking at a photo to gain a deeper comprehension is a profound suggestion. We got your E Mail and it was “hey look we got an E Mail from my brother”. However as I look at your photo and Joyce’s too I don’t simply see my brother or his wonderful wife. Indeed I think that this focuses ones mind on shared experiences,in our case good times and a sense of family that goes with all of this.

Good approach for better appreciating what we have!

Love,
Philip

By: megan jo

megan jo — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 21:23:42 +0000

Hey David!

I love this post! I really think this is the greatest gift we can give each other – to see without judgement or assessment. I think it had a HUGE impact in my own life and with my relationship to you. I had defined you in so many ways that just weren’t true and letting go of them has been one of my most fulfilling experiences.

Now I can see you and know that you’re in your own universe and I’m in my own little universe and just… get curious about it!

Curiosity, perhaps, is about looking at something without trying to figure it out and it’s a really great place to be.

I love you very much.

megan