Are you much too weighted down with worries, concerns and insecurities? Do you wish that you were a lot lighter person than you often experience yourself to be? If so, I think that I have an approach that can help.

In the previous post, I mentioned a quote from a book I once read. The quote has been very helpful to me in lightening my own load of self-preoccupations and may do the same for you.

The quote is “Angels fly, because they take themselves lightly.”

To me, taking ourselves lightly means getting beyond our usual ego-centered concerns. Whenever I am into my rights, my needs, my resentments, my situation, I am doing the opposite of taking myself lightly. I am heavy (and sometimes ponderously) into myself. And if my wife is around then “heavy” is one of the words that she might use to describe me.

On the other hand, when I am focused outside myself, and in particular when I am involved in the welfare of someone else, I really do take myself lightly — in fact, I’m pretty much not thinking of myself at all. This is one of the tremendous benefits that I have found in being a therapist: When I am working with a couple or with an individual, I totally cease to be a problem to myself almost always. I am focused on the couple or person before me, not on me.

At times, as a result of taking myself lightly, I can “fly,“ in the sense of being spontaneous, intuitive, open, connected in a way that I definitely am not when I am heavy and caught in myself.

The key is to get beyond our small self. The best way to do that is to love.

We’ll get back to the angels in the next post.